Let’s face it, we are all pretty lazy.
OK, some of you might not be that lazy. Some of you are up and about and doing things for yourself and others during every hour of daylight. But you, my friends, are the exception to the rule.
And according to that rule, most of us are pretty lazy. Look at televisions. Sure, we had primitive remote controls back in the day, but they were very primitive and at times didn’t work at all. But as kids we were very handy remotes.
Now, you can control a ton of things in your house – including electronic devices – with a single remote, or even just the sound of your voice.
Remember when ordering a pizza was a big deal? Domino’s was the only place that delivered in a lot of towns for ages. Now, pretty much everyone delivers.
And these days you don’t even have to waste your time calling in an order. Just get on your phone and use a food delivery app – there is more than one – to order what you want. Add the tip as well, so there is almost no interaction with the delivery driver.
You can even watch their progress on your phone, thanks to GPS.
While you are sitting on your couch, which also has a charging station for your phone, you can order pretty much anything you might think of from that phone. All you have to do is pause your TV – something your grandparents would have considered sorcery.
“Ed, pause ‘The Price is Right,’ I need to order a sweater for Mr. Doddles.”
“Ruff!” responds Mr. Doddles, sitting on the couch licking himself.
Now, they have a grocery delivery service. And I am sorry, but this is just too much for me. Sure, we all get tired of going to the store to grocery shop. Honestly, I feel like I spend 10 percent of my week running to the store for something.
Yes, there have been grocery delivery services before. Even decades ago, the kid from the neighborhood grocery store would deliver your groceries.
But I am talking about these giant box stores having home delivery – when you aren’t home.
That’s right. You use their app to order what you want, and they come to your house, let themselves in and put the food in your refrigerator.
Let me say that again: They stock your fridge.
To make it even more unsettling, the person delivering your food wears a camera so you can track the action.
There are costs – hey, it is 2019, people. A one-time fee, up-front costs for gadgets that allow a total stranger to enter your home and a monthly cost as well.
Being lazy certainly isn’t cheap.
I say being lazy because if you aren’t bed bound, ill or very elderly, you really need to get off of your behind and get your own groceries. If carrying a few bags of groceries is so daunting, or if you don’t have enough time during the week that you have to pay for a stranger to come into your house and put food into your refrigerator, you need to take a look at your life.
Personally, I don’t want people I don’t know wandering around my house peeking into my sock drawer.
Before you know it, we will be hiring people to shove food in our mouths.
Lazy, lazy, lazy.
Brad Jennings is Editor of The Ogle County Life.